Byul, from 200 Pound Beauty
Wahaha..
This is my new favourite song..
I have been listening to this endlessly ever since I got the CD from our local pasar malam @_@
yes if you are wondering like my friend Lynn (She was so happy to listen to it while we ate dim sum the other day), Of course I ripped it
Just ask me if you want a copy =p
Watching 200 Pound Beauty reminded me of what it was like.. to be insecure once. Of knowing that deep down inside, we can wear our masks & pretend we fit in.. But by doing so, we forget who we really are.
I am proud Hanna had the courage to accept herself for who she is.
For what is beauty, without a heart? What is a voice, without a tale… ^_^
Personally, I can relate to her story.. (Although mine wasnt nearly as physically traumatic)
I was big.. I mean I have ALWAYS been big ^_^
But when I was younger, it bothered me alot.
I wasnt always the more talker that you see now.
There was a time I was actually quite afraid to speak to friends.. of voicing my opinion..
I remember there was a time before the age of 12, I started starving myself too, wondering why I was chubbier than other people
I guess not eating was a way of punishing myself..
But then when my mom would by kentucky for me, I guess I would guiltily tuck in & grow even chubbier (apparently ur digestive system gets more efficient if it knows u r starving, so it stores everything.. and i DO mean EVERYTHING)
Ahaha the worst part was.. *sheepishly* I would also admit to not being comfortable around girls
Shy la, what to do..
And shyness tends to bring out the worst in us, we lash out at the world, for not caring.. but we shut our doors, unwilling to see the light
Would I ever see the light?
But I guess that really changed when I hit college.
Nobody knew me.. I could actually start from scratch.
No pre-judged responses.. no inkling of who I was.. where I was from..
"is he popular..?" , "is he smart..?", "is he fun…?"
None.. I made it up as I went along.
I finally got transport (back then it was just a motorbike, but it was definitely an upgrade from the lousy bicycle i once had..)
Wah, with transport, the world opened up..
You can actually do stuff and not have to ask your parents to fetch u around
Wow..I also started going to gym @_@
Was still chubby, but I guess i could bounce around better compared to last time
And I was happy.. finally
We all wear masks..
I guess I found my mask abit later than most..
And in this mask, I fashioned an image of a person whom most people know now..
Does this make me a different person..? Anything more than what I was..?
I really dont know..
It is said that adversity builds character
But yet it is our humanity that we lose with each breath we draw
Growing up changes people.. but I would like to believe that there is still pieces of my innocence lying beneath the layers I have piled atop to keep doubt away.
I guess the song below really captures what I wanted to say..
Maybe one day, I will find what I am looking for.
And for now.. I shall keep my memories close..
200 Pound Beauty, Byul (It means star in Korean by the way @_@)
param gyeoli changeul heundeulgo
nae gimalhan jakeun nawei pan weouro
areumduphge byulbijdeureul
kadeul chaewojuneyo
malhi aphahajimah
nalkkok aneunchae dadokyojumyeo
jakjara weouro haejuneyo
keodji mothalmankkeum himekyeowon aphawado
nunmuli apeul karyeowado
kajjimothal nae sarang aphedo nan useullaeyo
jamshimado kyeote haengboghattdeon giogdeureul
kashime kanjig halkeyo
du nune suno najin jeobyuldeul
cheoreom yeongwonhi
Translation of Youme’s version:
the wind is shaking the windows,and over my small room,
the stars fill up the sky, shining brightly too many to count,
the stars reassure tired me
they wipe away the many tears that are deep inside me
don’t be hurt too much..they hug me tight and pamper me
and comfort me,
telling me to go to sleep
though I’m exhausted to the point where I can’t walk
though my tears blur my vision
I’ll still smile in front of my love that I’m not able to get
Even though our happy times were short, I’ll treasure it deep inside my heart
like those countless number of stars, forever
My dream is coming. though it is unusual that my one star is bright
it is very bright, even blinding..it comes down to my shoulder
stop being so sad..it holds my hand as it touches me
and gives me a warm hug
though I’m exhausted to the point where I can’t walkthough my tears blur my vision
I’ll still smile in front of my love that I’m not able to get
Even though our happy times were short, I’ll treasure it deep inside my heart
like those countless number of stars, forever
Only for today, I won’t cry though my eyes fill with tears
I want to laugh like those stars
Oh~ I want to cherish all my happy moments deep inside my heart
Like those countless number of stars, forever
PS: Last but not least, frankly speaking I dont get whats the fuss about being 200 pounds..
Ahaha..
U know what?
Alot of people I know in gym are easily above 200 pounds..
Ahem ahem.. I AM 200 Pounds too @_@
Maybe it was just a nice number.. 200.. u know @_@
Being 300 pounds would definitely be out of this world..
