Dreamseeker

*sigh*
I feel so helpless..
Ahaha I just started playing  a game called DOTA, & it has been eating into my time.
Ahaha to those of you who are uninitiated, DOTA stands for Defence of the Ancients
Its a game that .. well, I guess I shouldnt talk too much about it..
Ahaha I feel abit obsessed ahaha
Geeze, I remember this phase quite some time back..
Playing games can get really addictive..
I guess once in ahwile its ok.. but ahahaha 4 weeks in a row
Now I know I’ve really gotta buy an rpg & kick myself on overdrive

Hmm.. I guess that was also a game eh..?
Ahaha..
Maybe its because I got nothing better to do
All I can think of is work.. work..
until hui mei came into my life..
now all i think about is work.. play game.. & also her.. ahaha
Nah, I didnt purposely name her as last..
in fact its usually the last thing on the list that gets the most attention..

Geeze, this is the first time i am rambling in a blog..
Wonder if it makes any sense?

I know I am confused..
the urge to play is strong in this one.. *vader sound..*

I started writing poetry again!
If thats any consolation.. ahaha
Falling in love does has its perks especially when you gotta think spontaneously & whisper into her ear..
Ahaha gotta say all the right things to let the fingers crawl around ahaha
@_@
Challenging eh?

Of moonbeams that cloud my heart..
Of lips so tender, yet now apart..
These eyes so dry, left yet to seek
Now windspun silk, these tides now sing
Perhaps this feet, shall bring you to me..

Ahaha ..
I actually feel like getting married..
wonder if i am crazy or something..
I know I keep saying to eveyrone i feel so old..
But I do feel pretty old..

My partner just called this afternoon.
He was ecstatic, apparently our MSC status got approved
So, he is kicking his ambitions to overdrive to win government contracts
Well, I guess abit of background is due.. this fella is some bigshot who wants to make alot of money..

Hmm, at my age, I look around me seeing friends talking about cars, booze.. bouncing with girls … ahaha
I dont really feel like I am missing out..
But I surprisingly feel abit comfortable leading my life this way..
complacent as far as personal life goes.. but abit more bloodthirsty when it comes in business..

I guess its a different high working on a 6 figure project than banging a girl with a good figure?
Ahaha.. hmm.. I actually know of people who bang chicks as a recreational activity..
ahahaha.. but err.. geeze i am rambling again

Now i am really confused..
I guess question is answered..
I will play DOTA again @_@

Until darling calls ahaha

This is my life..
And I hope.. to catch a wife @_@ while i am at it

Hi guys,

I guess blogging seems to be the "not so feminine" way of saying that I am keeping a diary ahaha
Its not really a habit, but it does serve as a reminder of the important things that I have come to pass..

It seems I have finally fallen in love again. I guess it wasnt too much of a surprise.
I have been lonely for god knows how long.. (actually .. about 18 months) ahaha
But the circumstances & the girl who finally caught my attention was somewhat puzzling 

Ahaha she comes from Penang.. where most of them speak Hokkien.
I hardly speak hokkien.. but I guess I made it a point to try to speak to her..
It was somewhat awkward at the beginning.. but I guess I got the hang of it.
I think she speaks better in Mandarin.. so I guess this means brushing up my mandarin so that I can express myself to her better

Wonder how do girls moan in chinese.. ahaha @_@ a thought I look forward to findout for myself muahaha

I met her in Thailand! Its funny how sometimes you encounter the ones closest to you not back home, but when you are away from it.
Actually that wasnt the first time I saw her.. the first time was in the middle of the night, in Penang’s botanical garden when I was in form 3 or form 4 during… schoolholidays

She was jogging at around 1.00 am at night (I was jogging too by the way…)
Ahaha dont ask me why I jog at night.. ahaha..
I noticed her.. but I dont think she saw me..

You know.. its that fleeting feeling that you should have said something? But you didnt?
Anyway.. I put that thought on hold for almost a decade..
Until I saw her again.

I took her out last weekend during the mooncake festival.
Apparently there was a major celebration in Taipings lake garden. I didnt know about it until.. well, we got to Taiping.

Coincidentally I planned to bring her to watch the moon on top of a waterfall.. ahaha but the waterfall had too many mosquitoes.. so i guess slapping her back didnt really feel too romantic after awhile ahaha

At the lake gardens, She looked so happy, with her doe-like eyes staring intently towards the sky, watching fireworks scintillating across the measured clouds..
I found myself drowning in her smile.. as though my whole world was sinking..  (ok, i was exagerrating.. but you get the picture @_@)

I guess its time for a change.. I kinda like the blur blur type of girl, who seems to be easily  content.
As we gazed towards pinprick flames that flickered in the distance.. we could hear children laughing, running with their lanterns.

Elderly couples.. holding hands.. watching the moon slip in & out from the sifting cloud cover..
Families.. picnicking under the lunar silhoutte, mothers fanning their children as they slept on mats by the now crimson lakeside

Couples.. lighting up candles in the form of a heart’s shape..
And for the more adventurous type.. teenagers burning trees ^_^

Ahaha I dont think KL’ites seem to indulge in these gatherings anymore

As we walked on, I could feel a twinge of regret..
I wish I could have met her earlier.. so that I could have shared all the things I have done with her…
I think as we walked, a slow silence descended between us. So many things we both wanted to tell each other.. of the lives we lead until *US*
But as I looked into her eyes.. I saw my reflection, with a smile etched upon my shadowed lips..
I dont ever remember being so happy in a long time.

Is there a need for a reason to be happy? I know not my need, but I have found my reason to forget..

To stop, for the briefest moment, all the troubles in the world.
And to be simply glad for another’s warmth
Perhaps that is for the best..

For as we wore the night away, it was truly silence, & good company that guided my feet

If love was a gift, freely given..
My heart, my breath I beg you to keep

I am listening to the song from Rick Price, "Always on my Mind" now..
*sigh* Its kinda bad listening to songs of this genre when we are all alone..
Just seems to llicit that stab in your heart, that seems to squeeze.. until there is nothing left but our deepest fears..
The sorrow of being alone? Is this something everyone gazes upon when they look in the mirror..?
Do the people around us truly find comfort in our presence.. or is it just a facade that beckons to memory ..

I have looked into the mirror ..
And I know not the person that I gaze upon..
If only to witness the seasons that pass..
The gift of time, a reason to smile..

I recently went for a number of weddings. One was from a primary school friend, the other was a business associate

Kinda funny meeting these people again.
Over my years of life, I guess we Malaysians have a way of merry making, especially through food & ceremony
I cant say I dont enjoy it, ahaha.
As a guy, I find it quite relaxing not to have to think of what to say, & just enjoying my meal

Speaking of which, I was watching a Korean Drama the other day.
Its called "Full House". Ahaha it stars .. Song Hye-kyo, the girl in Autumn in My heart

Ahaha I must say.. that the korean people are quite a romantic lot.
I dont know if this is a generalization, but I happen to enjoy watching all of their love stories.

It seems to bring to mind the.. simple notions of caring.. & confusion we used to endear when we were kids.
Ahaha for the first time in my life.. my Dad.. (the type of guy who only watches sports & news) actually sat down to watch every series of "Full House" with us.
I guess deep inside, we all want to remember the better parts of our life.

I have come to understand that as we age, our hearts tend to endure.. untold amounts of  pressure..
I guess its convenient to forget  sometimes..

Well, I am still here. I hope one day.. I will leave this world.. & people will remember me..
For the smiles I brought them.. for the tears we shared..
Ahaha

What we do in life echoes throughout the halls of history..
Now all I need to do is let it echo enough & I will get myself an x-box so that I can play jade empire